


How to date Gotham’s most wanted criminal

by RainyMonday



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Dating, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Kidnapping, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 13:03:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20564789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainyMonday/pseuds/RainyMonday
Summary: Being in a relationship with Gotham’s most wanted criminal definitively came with some peculiarities. Being kidnapped apparently was one of them.Based on this dialogue prompt I found somewhere ages ago:„I honestly appreciate your creativity, but next time why don’t we just go to dinner or something like a normal couple?“





	How to date Gotham’s most wanted criminal

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sleeping in my files for ages now because I couldn’t find a good title for it (still not sure about the one I have now)  
I enjoy writing their dynamics so much (and reading it of course) so I finally came up with a title in order to publish this.  
I hope you enjoy too!

There were a lot of things in Bruce’s life that weren’t normal. To be honest, he was quite surprised when a day wasn’t interrupted by a kidnapping, an attempt at his life or a spectacular crime. However, today set all the other crazy things that tended to happen around him new standards.

So far, nothing too weird had happened. Selina had appeared for breakfast, once again tricking their security system. Alfred only sighed and did what he always did: Set up another set of cutlery and plates on the table and ordered a new alarm system. Most likely, they would replace it as soon as Selina unsurprisingly stood in the living room for dinner.

Then Bruce had showered and got dressed. The day ahead of him was supposed to be extraordinary dull. He had an assignment at Wayne Enterprises, showing presence in order to keep his company from assisting criminals again. Those meetings were a pain in the ass if he was honest. Most of the managers and CEOs looked down at him because of his age and inexperience and he always felt like they were gravely underestimating him and it was really, really annoying.

He'd convinced Alfred to let him go by himself because on one hand he wanted to put his birthday present to use and on the other he somewhat hoped that appearing alone would gain him some respect from his employees and thus result in less annoying meetings.

To say he was glad when somebody pressed a wet cloth against his face and dragged him in an empty side ally right before he could enter the building was an exaggeration. Thought he wasn’t completely horrified either. People tended to kidnap him once or twice a year since he was 12 and he was used to it by now. The smell of chloroform felt familiar and he had long given up refusing to inhale the narcotic vapor. He wondered what Alfred would do when he wasn’t coming back in time. Bruce already felt sorry for whoever thought it was clever to abduct him this time. He drifted towards sleep faster and faster and his last coherent thought was being thankful he'd locked the car, so nobody would steal it. It meant a lot to him.

When he woke up, everything around him was black, he blinked violently only to realize there was a hood over his face. He rolled his eyes. He didn’t need to see his surroundings to escape. He wanted to test his chains when he realized there were none. He rolled his eyes again. This was either the dumbest kidnapper he’d met so far or the worst idea of a date he'd ever encountered. He sighed and pulled the hood away, blinking at the light that hit him now. He had no idea how much time had passed but judged by the sun that fell through large windows right in front of him, it was afternoon.

He took a moment to observe the room around him. He mostly likely was in a penthouse and the light coming through the large windows really did some magic to his surroundings. The room was elegant but somewhat plain. The only furniture were a lounge suite and a dinner table, two identical flower bouquets on both tables as well as the chairs on one of them he had been seated.

He stood up and waited until the circulation in his limbs was back before he walked to the door behind him, trying to open it. To his disappointment, it was locked. He checked the rest of the room but there was nothing he could use to open it. He settled back on the chair and decided to wait. He didn’t feel especially threatened, only annoyed. He waved at the camera he discovered in one corner of the room and crossed his legs waiting.

It took only a couple of minutes before a key turned in the door and the door itself swung open. Bruce reproachfully crossed his arms and stared at his captor.

“You kidnapped me!”, was the first thing he said as he rose from his chair.  
“Was that really necessary?”, he added as the person in front of him seemed to show no regrets.

Jeremiah wore an elegant purple suit, today in a darker shade, almost black. Bruce liked it, the color complemented his skin tone and made his eyes and lips stand out.

“It was necessary”, Jeremiah answered, a mocking smile appearing on his face, “you haven't had much time for me lately. I decided to change that.”

“I honestly appreciate your creativity, but next time why don’t we just go to dinner or something like a normal couple? You could have just asked me out for God’s sake!”

“Asking isn’t exactly my style”, Jeremiah replied, “also, what would you tell the GCPD if I walked right into Wayne Manor to ask for a date?”

Bruce only sighed deeply. “Tell me you have at least something nice planned. Something that absolutely makes up for kidnapping me. Again”, he asked his eyebrows rising while he studied Jeremiah’s face.

“I wouldn’t kidnap you for nothing”, Jeremiah replied (although Bruce was pretty sure that was a lie) and reached for Bruce’s hand. Bruce pulled it away. He was still angry about how they ended up here.

“I'm sure about that”, the billionaire hummed sarcastically.

“I’ve heard the sarcasm”, the madman remarked.

“You were supposed to”, Bruce snarled but then took the offered hand and willingly followed the other to the windows. Behind them, Gotham lay in front of them, delightfully colored in shades of red and purple by the setting sun. It was beautiful.

“Okay, that makes up for the rough invitation”, Bruce admitted, speechless for a second.

“What a surprise”, a smug smile appeared on Jeremiah’s face, “I got one of Gotham’s best chefs to make dinner”

“Do I want to ask under what circumstances?”, Bruce inquired but wasn’t really meaning it. The view really made him weak.

“You simply need to know that he will be safe and sound as long as his food pleases us”, Jeremiah explained and put an arm around Bruce, “I'll probably let him go afterwards. I don't want to see that frown on your face the whole evening”

He winked playfully and it forced Bruce to first smile and then laugh.  
“You don’t like the frown?”

“You look way too serious with it”

“I am a serious person”, Bruce insisted.

Jeremiah sighed: “You should be thankful I'm here to stop you from being angry and sulky all the time”

“I’m not sulky”, Bruce protested and probably looked angry and sulky all at once.

“Yes, that’s true. You’re not when I kiss you. Then you’re just angry”, Jeremiah laughed and pulled him closer.

Bruce could feel where their bodies touched and without admitting it, he leaned in closer too. They watched the burning sun disappear behind Gotham’s rooftops.

“It’s nice up here”, he mused, “you should keep it”

“If you won’t tell the police I could”, Jeremiah replied and the sentence left a bitter flavor on Bruce’s tongue.

This was still wrong. He hadn’t even dared to tell Alfred. He helped a criminal with not telling the police about this penthouse, not telling them about their relationship. He should feel guilty but didn’t.  
He eyed Jeremiah, saw how his face relaxed, saw those beautiful red lips, smiling softly at him. He knew he couldn’t give that up no matter how wrong it was.

“You look sulky again”, Jeremiah’s laugh pulled him from his thoughts.

“Oh, do I?”, he asked, pushing all his previous thoughts away. There was playful tone in his voice and he knew Jeremiah had heard it as well.

The lunatic was at him in seconds, pressing his lips against Bruce’s. They were cold but soft and Bruce loved kissing them. It took his breath away. He pulled him closer, deepening their kiss until both their lips were swollen, their cheeks flushed and at least his hair was a mess.

“That looks way better on you than the frown”, Jeremiah commented smugly.

“If you keep being an asshole, I’ll wear that frown for the rest of my life just to annoy you”, Bruce growled but allowed Jeremiah to place another kiss on his lips.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind if I get to kiss it away the rest of my life”

“Just shut up”, Bruce glared at him but his gaze softened when Jeremiah offered him a playful wink.

“How can I never be angry at you?”, Bruce sighed.

“It’s because of my undeniable charm”, the madman answered smirking.

“I really hate you”, Bruce said but his voice was soft.

“I hate you too Bruce”, Jeremiah replied and kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> No famous chef was harmed in the making of this one shot


End file.
